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Failure to RSVP
IS A Business Etiquette Faux Pas
By Lydia Ramsey
As a business etiquette expert, one of the most frequently asked
questions I hear is “What is the biggest business etiquette faux pas
that people commit today?” In a world where rudeness is
rampant, it’s hard to narrow the list. Business people
constantly violate the rules of etiquette with their e-mail
practices, their phone behaviors, especially with regard to the use
and abuse of cell phones, their casual attitude toward professional
dress, their inattention to proper table manners and their lack of
courtesy in dealing with customers and coworkers. However, in
considering one area where the majority of business people come up
short, it is in appropriately responding to invitations.
“RSVP” might as well be Greek. Actually it’s French, and it stands
for the phrase, “Repondez, s’il vouz plait” or “Please respond.”
The practice of asking for a response to an invitation has been
around at least since the time of the court of the French king,
Louis XIV. It must have been about that time that people
needed to be reminded to reply to invitations.
The minute you receive an invitation, whether it is for a business
luncheon or dinner, an after-hours reception, the wedding of a
client or colleague, a casual office get-together or any type of
business/social event, check your calendar to see if you are free.
Your next step is to respond. Don’t put off replying unless
you need additional information or have to check with someone else.
The person issuing the invitation needs to know as soon as possible
how many people will be attending in order to plan properly. Be
considerate.
“RSVP” clearly means to reply one way or the other. It does not mean
reply if you feel like it or only if you are coming. The words
“Regrets Only” mean just that. Respond only if you don't plan
to attend.
Respond in the manner that the host suggests. If a phone
number is given, you may call. If a postal address is on the
invitation, your reply is expected in writing. If an e-mail
address is listed, head for your computer.
Once you have replied, do what you said you would do. If you
said you would be there, go. If you responded that you
couldn’t attend, don’t decide at the last minute to go. If something
comes up to prevent you from attending, let your host know as soon
as possible. If you can’t do so before the event, contact the
host first thing the next day to explain your absence and to
apologize.
Take note of who is invited. If the invitation reads “and
guest,” you make take a friend. If you see the words, “and
family,” take the kids. If it is addressed to you alone, go by
yourself.
The whole purpose for “RSVP” is so the host can plan the food and
venue for the right number of guests. When people fail to
reply to invitations, those planning the event are at a distinct
disadvantage. There is always the risk that there will be too
much or not enough food. A firm that I work with recently had
a party for their clients and colleagues. Thirteen people
replied that they would attend, but forty showed up. Of
course, there wasn’t enough for everyone to eat or drink. How
inconsiderate is that?
The rule for responding to any invitation is to reply immediately,
say what you will do and do what you say. Next time you may be
the one planning an event and you won’t want to be left in the dark,
waiting to see who shows up.
Lydia Ramsey is a Savannah based business etiquette expert,
professional speaker and author of MANNERS THAT SELL. She is a
past president of the Rotary Club of Skidaway Island. For more
information about her programs visit her web site:
http://www.mannersthatsell.com
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