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By Michael Angier
"An oak tree is just a little nut that held its ground."
We all like to read about successes. We're encouraged by the
achievement of others and inspired to hear about how they overcame
difficult odds.
But what happens when things don't go as planned? What happens when
we just don't make it?
Successful people don't reach all their goals. In fact, they usually
miss more than they make.
The fear of missing the mark is one of the reasons we don't set some
goals in the first place. We don't want to fall short, and we don't
want anyone to know we didn't make it. We don't want to fail.
I'd like to share some thoughts about a goal I didn't reach.
My goal at the beginning of the year was to lose 32 pounds (about 15
kilos) by May 21st. I lost only 14 pounds (about 6.5 kilos)
There are many other goals over the past few months that were met,
and even exceeded, but this one was one of the most important. It
was also one over which I had the greatest control. It is I and I
alone who determines what goes into my mouth and how often and how
much I exercise.
It was a do-able and believable goal. I had a target date. I had a
workable plan and it was a worthy goal.
So what happened?
There were a number of factors that contributed to coming up short,
and I'm still evaluating them.
The important thing to realize, however, is that I didn't actually
fail. What happened was I missed my target date.
Am I discouraged? A little. Am I disappointed? Yes.
But I can't change what is. I have to survey the results, the lack
of results and look closely at my plan and how I'll improve upon it.
Am I still committed to it? Yes, indeed. Am I resetting a target
date? You bet.
And that's what's important … not giving up.
Until I realized that I had missed the target date instead of failed
in the process of achieving my goal, I was discouraged. I was
focusing on failure instead of the progress I'd made.
The truth is; I'm stronger and healthier now than I was in January.
Losing 14 pounds isn't bad. It's not great, but it's better than
being where I was, or worse … gaining weight.
I receive letters from people disheartened because they're not
making the progress they think they should. They're discouraged
because they didn't succeed. The truth is … achieving big goals is
rarely easy.
What is easy is to focus on our short-falls. It's easy to talk to
ourselves in negative, counterproductive language:
"I'll never make it." "I just can't get it right." "Why don't I ever
win?"
Perhaps we're deceived by stories of "overnight" successes. We don't
see the setbacks and obstacles that were part of the success. But
perseverance almost always wins out. I'm reminded that an oak tree
is just a little nut that held its ground.
If it were easy, we wouldn't have the satisfaction that comes with
the winning. If we didn't have to change in order to reach the goal,
we wouldn't grow. The pain of discipline is only temporary. The
glory of achievement lasts much longer.
I'm going to hang in there. I'm going to start over. And I'm going
to do it.
How about you? Do you let the fear of "failure" keep you from
setting big goals? Will you keep on keeping on? What goal do you
have that needs a recommitment? What will you overcome in order to
achieve it?
How are you willing to change?
About the author: Michael Angier is founder and CIO(Chief
Inspiration Officer) of SuccessNet, a support network helping people
and businesses grow and prosper.
http://SuccessNet.org
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What Happens When We Don't Make It?