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It’s not Easy Dinner Conversation!
by Linda C Scaz, RN, PhD
Making decisions around our life choices can
be both difficult & thought provoking.
It’s easy to say how we want to live;
I want to be charitable, I want the best for my kids &
grandkids, I need to volunteer/work more, stay current with my
bills. But as we
begin to age & face chronic illnesses we procrastinate with the
decisions that may make our life’s journey more comfortable for not
only ourselves but our families who may become our voice in making
decisions for us. We
have planned for retirement financially, perhaps changed geographic
location to seek more leisure time or have opportunity to be with
the grandkids and eventually we fall into a rhythm of day to day
living running the risk of not sharing life determining decisions
with our friends & families.
But
what happens when things occur suddenly in our lives?
A stroke, an auto accident, a heart attack,
a cancer diagnosis?
As a hospice nurse for over 30 yrs, I have witnessed
families grappling with agonizing decisions as to what their now
comatose loved one would have wanted.
No one ever discussed it , the subject never came up or if it
did little time was given to it as those things don’t happen to us,
only to other folks.
Sometimes our own cultural beliefs prevent us from ever discussing
end of life preparedness, such as in the African American community
where death is not a topic to be dealt
with until it happens.
Though
end of life decisions may not warrant nightly dinner conversation it
is worthy of our time. To
save families from making decisions contrary to what their loved one
may or may not have wanted, now is the time for each of us to face
these difficult conversations around life & death care.
How do you want to be treated when you are faced with a life
limiting illness? Do
you want to be resuscitated, to receive blood or Intravenous
antibiotics? Would you
like to be an organ donor?
Do you want to be placed on a ventilator?
These are not easy decisions but require each of us to do
some soul searching & dig deep into our personal value base,
something not easily accomplished.
Begin
to make your wishes known. Direct your own medical care now in case
your voice in the future may be silent. One key method to begin this
process is to look into developing
a Living Will.
This can be discussed with your personal physician, your lawyer or
clergy member.
Another
opportunity is to connect with your local hospice as many of them
will share a wonderful booklet called “Five Wishes” put out by the
group Aging with Dignity.
This concise work respectfully walks one through specific
questions & decisions around an individual’s choices for medical,
social & spiritual end of life decisions.
It is a good place to start and your decisions can always be
changed as you so desire or as your life circumstances change.
Life
is precious & should be enjoyed & cherished daily.
In discussing our choices & decisions with family & friends
now while we are capable, as to how we want to proceed on life’s
journey, we give them the gift of peace of mind.
Linda is a first-time contributor to Rotary eClub One’s programs. |
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