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Daily Camera

Enid Ablowitz

Giving as a Family Matter

The holiday season creates a heightened awareness of giving.  Every day, mailboxes are full of solicitations.  Every night, the phone rings and the callers ask for a donation. What if this year you handled holiday giving differently?

Now I’m not saying you shouldn’t toss a few coins (or bills) in the kettle, or fill that bag of groceries, or give away those unneeded clothes.  But this year, start by making your Thanksgiving dinner about more than turkey and pumpkin pie.  Make it about giving.

Most of us look forward to the holidays as a time to connect with family and friends.  The season of giving can bring out the best in us.  We explicitly or privately reflect on how much better off we are than the next person, perhaps recalling the parable about the man with no shoes who was bitter until he met the man with no feet. How about adding a new dimension to your holidays?  How about making giving a part of your family’s shared values?

Imagine sitting around the table and talking about giving.  You could start by discussing what you give to each other:  the tangible things and the intangibles, like time and support and love.  Then talk about what each of you give to people you know, and to those you don’t.  Does someone in your family volunteer?  Sell things to raise money for a school or club?  Give away some allowance?  Have a payroll deduction for charity? Write year-end checks or give stock to favorite organizations? You might even ask each person around the table to talk about a gift that made them feel good. Then ask them to explain why.

Once you have all identified what you have done, talk about what you’d like to do.  What would make each of you feel better about your giving?  Would you like to make one larger gift rather than many small ones?  Would you like your family to combine your gifts and give together? Would you like your children or parents or spouses to join you in your passion or would you like to share theirs?

Some families talk about strategic philanthropy, going beyond the usual spur-of- the-moment giving. Instead of being reactive, they talk about what they want to accomplish with their giving, and often learn more about the underlying issues. They find out more about providing community safety nets, or the health and welfare of animals, or saving rainforests, or education as economic empowerment .  By talking about philanthropy as an important part of family life, each member can feel connected to each other and to the outside world in meaningful ways.  By understanding and describing what they want their giving to accomplish, each person may feel more satisfaction in their giving. Philanthropy can become an integral part of the family’s life, and the values can be transferred from generation to generation.

This year, make giving a family matter. (And, by the way, I use the word family broadly.  If you are part of a group with shared values, think about having a values-based philanthropy conversation with them.)  Identify each person’s interests. Consider whether you want to create an annual focus for giving, rotating the decision maker.  Be sure to leverage your giving by making tax-wise gifts.  And, be sure you know how your money will be used.

No matter how much or how you choose to give, share the joy of giving by stimulating others to give.  Enrich your holidays through philanthropy!

Send your questions about making charitable gifts to Enid Ablowitz, Features, Daily Camera, 1048 Pearl St., Boulder, 80302 or e-mail???/Fax????

Ablowitz, the Asst. Dean for Advancement at CU’s College of Engineering is a Certified Fund Raising Executive and has been working with donors for over a decade.  She is writing a book called Making Money Matter: 8 Steps to Thoughtful Giving.

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